Cinderella

It has been suggested that the Disney Princesses are poor role models in so may critiques, I lose count.  For just a few, try here and here and here.  I agree with Rose that the Disney Princesses have been misjudged out of context, and suggested yesterday that it is hypocritical that adults watch Hollywood blockbusters, read fantasy fiction and play video games, and then pontificate on how unrealistic and non-representative Disney imagery is and how it is damaging their children.

It is disingenuous for adults to enjoy their own forms of escapism (movies, computer games, fiction, ‘reality’ television, etc.), particularly in front of children, and deny their children the innocent enjoyment of fairytales on the basis that they are ‘unrealistic’ or have ‘stereotypical gender roles’.  Adults feel free to enjoy these adult fairytales because we know the difference between fantasy and reality.  Children aren’t born knowing this, but they can and do learn.

Part of your job as a parent is to encourage your child to develop an imagination, as well as making clear where the boundary lies between fantasy and reality.  Further, we have a responsibility to teach our children how to interpret the world around them.  The ability to critically evaluate is a learned behaviour, and one that takes time and maturity to develop, and this can be assisted by parental support through discussion of issues raised by movies, be they Disney or otherwise.

Let me start with Cinderella.

Cinderella

As a child, Cinderella endured enormous reverses in fortune.  Her mother died when she was very young, her kind, doting father died soon after remarrying, her stepmother turned out to be heartless and cruel, and her affluent beginnings are followed by a reduction to servitude.  She went from being loved in a secure, warm, affluent home, to being abused in the decaying remains of her former home.

However, Cinderella demonstrated remarkable resilience and positivity in the face of this adversity, choosing to remain gentle and kind.  She also demonstrated respect toward her elders (the wicked stepmother), obedience to authority, a strong work ethic, creativity and resourcefulness, but all of these virtues sprang from her own internal fortitude.

The power of her positive thinking is overtly referenced in the movie: it is what causes her fairy godmother to materialise.  There is empirical evidence to suggest that positive people do have more success in life.  It is important to impress upon children that they may not be able to control events, but they can control their own responses to them.  Refer them to examples of real-life people who have triumphed over adversity – people like Oprah Winfrey, Helen Keller, Harriet Tubman, and J. K. Rowling.  All had rough starts; all transcended their beginnings.

Cinderella was resilient and strong.  It is sexist to assert that the only kind of strength that matters is might.  What about fortitude, a trait that Cinderella shares with figures such as Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Florence Nightingale?  Modern audiences often interpret Cinderella as passive, unfairly judging her behaviour by modern standards, forgetting that the film was released in 1950.

Cinderella is obedient and respectful toward her stepmother, though her stepmother patently doesn’t deserve either.  Whilst modern audiences might find this unpalatable, do many of us have interactions with people we find autocratic or thoughtless?  Whilst some of us may have options that mean that we can remove ourselves from such a situation, this is not always the case, and many adults are forced to contend with the unreasonable behaviour of others, particularly in the workplace.  Those who are able to handle such situations graciously may be very successful in life (hotel service manager?).

Cinderella is gentle and kind.  Her friends are the animals in her home.  She is creative and makes clothes for the mice.  It is her friendship with these creatures that allows her to escape the locked room to try on the slipper.  Without those friendships, she might never have been reunited with Prince Charming.

Cinderella is also resourceful.  Her plan for attending the ball included altering one of her mother’s dresses.  Whilst she does not get that opportunity, she has been making mouse clothes from scraps for years.

Cinderella is also diligent and hardworking.  I don’t think anyone questions these as virtues, but it is important to highlight that she did her chores well.  Tasks in real life might be unreasonable, too, but we choose whether or not to do them properly.  That choice has consequences.

If you are of a religious bent, the stories of Cinderella and Job bear some similarity.  I will leave it to you to draw that parallel, but I don’t think that fairytales and Christian beliefs need to be mutually exclusive.  Fairytales, at their heart, are parables.  In this one, Cinderella finds true love and happily ever after because she is pure of heart and believes in her dreams.  If she did not posses the virtues enumerated above, she would not have ‘willed’ her fairy godmother into existence (who is really just the embodiment of her faith), who put her in the right place, at the right time and prepared to accept the opportunity that presented itself.

Viewing the happy ending as metaphorical rather than literal is important.  How about reading alternate versions of this story to show your child different versions of this parable?  Professor D. L. Ashliman from the University of Pittsburg has compiled a fantastic resource here that you could take advantage of.  What is interesting is how many cultures have a version of this fairytale and how similar they are, suggesting that the parable is fairly universal.  Cinderella’s outer beauty is a reflection of her inner beauty and it is that which enchants the prince and leads to her happy ending.  Those who complain about the improbability of this ignore the entire genre of romantic comedy (and soap operas!) adults watch and forget that Cinderella is a fairytale, not a documentary.

Another way of broadening your child’s perspective is to watch different versions of Cinderella.  I like Whitney Houston’s Cinderella for its message of diversity (incidentally, this was also a Disney production), and Drew Barrymore’s Ever After for a more assertive Cinderella figure.

I hope that this gives parents a starting point for discussing Cinderella with their children.  It is our responsibility to teach our children the difference between fairytales and real life, but just like Santa Claus, that doesn’t mean we need to deprive them of their enjoyment of the magic.

How do you feel about allowing your children to enjoy Cinderella?  Is there anything I have missed?